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Joke of the Day

"Me Chinese, me play joke... Me take drone, return it broke."

"How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place?"

"I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse."

"I normally don't get a boner at Burger King But when I do, it's a whopper"

"What is Trumps favorite movie? Minority Report."

"When I was a child, my father would always tell me, ""The sky's the limit!"" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut."

"Why didn't the two tampons talk to each other? Because they were stuck up bitches."

"A woman who sits on a judges lap... Get's an honorable discharge."

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."

"ME (drunkenly picking a fight with a cake): get out my face you jerk CAKE: hey pal you wanna piece of me?!? ME: ok wow now I'm conflicted"