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Joke of the Day

"CASHIER: 300. ME: Ha, like the movie. CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld. ME: Ha, like the comedian. CASHIER: ... ME: Ha, like a mime..."

"I think i'm lactose intolerant I've had 6 milkshakes today and feel like crap."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but the real question is how they got in there."

"You know what I like about high school girls? I will be back, rec time is over."

"FUN FACT: Teens in the late 1800s sent/received an average of 75 telegrams a day."

"A Jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"Chuck Norris keeps his pillow under his gun."

"I was in Australia once and I saw someone play Stairway to Heaven on the didgeridoo. I said ""That's Aboriginal."""

"What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!"

"Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it."