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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but the real question is how they got in there."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed. I never knew they worked!"

"I kinda want Hillary to win the US election Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under."

"What do you call two female doctors working at the same hospital? A pair of docs. Probably belongs in /r/imgoingtohellforthis Is /r/misogyny a sub??? My mom would be so disappointed."

"A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house."

"How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't worry about changing the lightbulb. I'll just sit here in the dark."

"If we can afford to have armed guard for our money at the banks, surely we can afford to have armed guards for our kids at schools. Where are your priorities people?"

"How do you call a beautiful feminist? An oxymoron"

"Regarding Daughters Any father will tell ya that parents spend the first 2-3 years of a daughter's life trying to teach them to talk, and the next 15 or so trying to get them to shut-up."

"Why are there so many Jews? It's the only race that's well accounted for."