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Joke of the Day

"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"

"technically speaking being gay used to make me happy"

"New Years Resolution My New Years Resolution is to try 100 brand new things. How many chemicals are crack? Lets get this done in one sitting."

"You know, that Poisson distribution is really strange. It's just not Normal."

"Did you guys hear about the mob of comedians? It was a riot."

"How can you be so sad when you are so beautiful?"

"My hangover has been going on for so long that I'm beginning to wonder if Peter Jackson directed it."

"Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster."

"Great feats are always about timing. You think Hitler would have killed that many Jews four thousand years ago?"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on, it's a dead giveaway!"