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Joke of the Day

"What do you call one bunch of woodland creatures complimenting another bunch of woodland creatures over their newly formed religion? Constructive Critter Schism"

"Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market. Oh the irony."

"Wow! This whole being up early is neat; it's like daytime but sooner! Huh! The birds... they sound, you know, pretty! It's all a bit scary."

"I wish IKEA was more like Lego.. on the back of the box it would show you 4 other things you could make from the same materials."

"I'm really impressed with the enthusiasm of the workers getting Qatar ready for the World Cup They're dying to get the job done."

"What do you call people who use the pull out method? Parents"

"My girlfriend is like Windows... She's 10."

"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."

"What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A luna-tick."

"Hereditary Irritable Bowel Syndrome Runs in the family."