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Joke of the Day

"Fire alarms are dangerous and should not be in the house. Why? Because when it starts the house is on fire!"

"Why can you RAN in a campsite, but never RUN in a campsite? Because it's always past-tents."

"Why aren't there many women on death row? Ladies first."

"Did you here the joke about the dead guy? Nevermind, it's time has passed."

"I recently took up meditation..... It beats sitting around doing nothing"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer once... I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"I was viewing a house being sold by a native american i asked him if it came with running water, He said 'no, get your own wife'"

"Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted."

"What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage."

"Come close... Closer... Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see... Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it's killing me."