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Joke of the Day

"""I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion."" -- Web comment that has never been made"

"People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better."

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."

"I'm a heavy sleeper. Also, a heavy awaker. Okay, I'm fat."

"TIL that the current chinese president Xi Jinping, has a PhD in English literature. That's why the Chinese people call him ""The Great Reader""."

"WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what"

"Dear math, stop telling me to find your X Their not coming back, grow up and solve your own problems"

"I'm turning to Reddit to help crowdsource an OC joke about defective condoms but it's all been a bust. You pricks keep poking holes in it."

"""I bet you can't name two different structures that hold water!"" Well, dam..."

"now when we see rotten food we think ""we should throw this out"" but in the past, they'd be like ""are there any shitty concerts coming up?"""