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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Leper going for the masturbation world record? Eventually he pulled it off!"

"What pokemon does South America have that other continents don't? Zikachu."

"Home Depot is having their ""ultimate tool event"" in case anyone wants to buy my cousin Tyler."

"*makes plans with someone* (30 seconds later) what have I done"

"I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall."

"Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls? They remind him too much of his mother. I'll see myself out."

"I just heard a guy arguing with his oven. Things got pretty heated."

"Judging by your selfie, I can't help wonder why your mother didn't try & sell you to a circus when you were younger."

"My friend got a nice new ride, but no one wants to drive him around in it Now he's got all that car and nothing to chauffeur it."

"What's the best way to stop a German train? *Axe* them nicely."