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Joke of the Day

"Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back."

"Wanna know how i know i'm getting laid tonight? Because i am stronger then you."

"Yesterday, I asked my North Korean friend how his life was going over the phone.... He said ""Can't complain""."

"What happens when you sing a country music song backwards? You get your wife, truck, and land back."

"Apologies to my forehead for assuming that automatic doors will just ""open."""

"Why does a German always have the last laugh? He has to wait for the verb."

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"""Ummmm..."" -Rope, while being tied into a noose"

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills."

"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away AND have his shoes!"