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Joke of the Day

"I've had my heart broken before, but I got back up on that horse and said ""C'mon, can't we give us one more chance? Stomp once for yes."""

"DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium."

"Metro don't trust trump. Future gon' shoot him."

"Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18,000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space."

"I'm exactly like Rocky in that, I challenge people to fight while I'm slurring my words."

"Why did the traitor wear two watches? Because he's a two timer."

"Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die."

"*at the gym* Trainor: Have a donut. Me: Wow! Sure! T: Here's some pizza. M: What kind of trainer are you? T: I'm a Megan Trainor."

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"Pedophile Kids who are scared of pedophiles really need to grow up."