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Joke of the Day

"Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die."

"The king splits his kingdom for his three sons... -F**k yeah, said the Fourth Son"

"How did Hitler masturbate? Fureriously."

"Ran into the apple store and used their bathroom .... iPeed"

"Chuck Norris tries this at home."

"Why was the snowman smiling? ...he saw a snowblower coming up the street."

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age."

"Police: Everything you say can and will be held against you Criminal: Boobs"

"What's the difference between a pot head and a person who physically abuses children? One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"