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Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium."

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"The man who invented the dildo sadly passed away. His funeral went just as expected. Only women came."

"Best period joke ever ."

"Q: How do you catch a rabbit? A: Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises."

"I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!"

"I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year... Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too."

"Alien vs predator Guys what if a pedophile assualts an illegal immigrant, would it be called alien vs predator?"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? If you slap the mosquito it stops sucking"

"Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney wakes up the children and says ""Hey kids do you want to buy some toys?"""