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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Daniel on Facebook is worried about his account's privacy but Paul is all ""that shit's a hoax dude!"" More as this story develops."

"[Starbucks] What can I get you? I'll have a large coffee, black ""You don't have to say black"" I'll have a large coffee, African American"

"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays""."

"What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&M club? ""Troll in the dungeon!"""

"I see your sister's sick burn and raise you mine. ""If you're gonna be a dick, wear a condom over your head."" She's 9."

"Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony? When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had ""To NY"" on their hats."

"My Aunt Used to Drink 13's It's the Polish version of the seven & seven. Source: my dad... Not sure if he made it up or what but made me laugh."

"What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?"

"What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet? I need to know before my court date on Monday."

"I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle."