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Joke of the Day

"My entire family is prone to diarrhea... ...It runs in our jeans. EDIT: typo"

"What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings? Legolas"

"If someone walks in on you hatching your evil plan, just tell them you were rubbing in some hand moisturizer."

"I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a thorough inspection to find that I had a gray pubic hair. The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though."

"I have invented a revolutionary drug that can cure third-world hunger... Just take one little pill with a meal 3x per day."

"What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum? There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum."

"SuperMan, A Nice American and A fat American were having a race, who won ? the fat American, because the other 2 are fictional characters"

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus depot and a lobster with big boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime to the second a dime and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three."

"""If you have a ministry like Jesus it will probably be made up of about 12 people who don't get your illustrations, & 1 wants to kill you."""