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Joke of the Day

"My entire family is prone to diarrhea... ...It runs in our jeans. EDIT: typo"

"I've been calling my wife ""honey"" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name."

"Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? they are filled with Arab semen."

"i wish you could click ""save as"" on puppies"

"*[At the dinner table]* ""No grandma, those aren't knitting needles. We're having Chinese food"""

"You know what this new carpet needs? For me to open a tube of blue toothpaste, and jump up and down on it. - My 4yo. Apparently."

"I've run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon."

"If a caveman from the Paleolithic era saw you turn down a cupcake because youre on the ""Paleo Diet,"" he'd kill you with a sharpened seashell"

"Flogging Molly is a pretty good Irish punk band; They're also 2 activities typically kept very, very separate."

"What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !"