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Joke of the Day

"You face Ha got ""em"""

"A classic: what do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"[Interview] ""Why'd you leave ur last job?"" My boss felt threatened by me [Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]"

"What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor."

"I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle."

"Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned? So Catholics could do this [makes the sign of the cross], instead of this [bangs self in head with fists]."

"I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies... I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)"

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"Triple entendre The word ""masturbate"" is only three syllables. It seems a lot longer to me."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from."