105549

Joke of the Day

"I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies... I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)"

"North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor."

"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaiiiiiinnns"

"Jim Gaffigan's stand-up is so funny that I watched it a second time... ...and I Jim Laugh Again'd."

"Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark? Professional courtesy."

"I always play Jenga on a first date That way girls know my pull out game is strong"

"We get it, painters: you love naked women and bowls of fruit."

"LAUNDROMAT BLUES Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you."

"I haven't seen anyone in a yellow jersey this disgraced since Lance Armstrong."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."