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Joke of the Day

"I was wondering why the football was getting bigger... Then it hit me."

"What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry? STUPID AMERICAN!"

"What is a Jedi's favorite car company? Toyoda"

"It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

"Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine? He forgot."

"What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed? Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane?"

"I eat pudding with a fork, so no, crossword puzzles aren't really my 'thing'."

"What do you get if you cross a pitbull and a hooker? Your last blowjob."

"I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!"

"[God creating wombats] Just roll that balloon in fur and let's call it a day."