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Joke of the Day

"It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

"Let's hope no one builds a convenience store inside a volcano because that doesn't seem like it would be convenient at all."

"girl you're like the water in flint, michigan you quench my thirst but i know you'll slowly kill me"

"What's Mary short for? She's got little legs, I guess."

"Did you know Kurt Cobain had dandruff? They found his Head & Shoulders behind the couch."

"What is the best way to pass the time on Tatooine? Watch the Dagobah"

"They have a sea food place at Sea World. How morbid. What if I'm eating a slow leaner."

"Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche."

"My dad always told me to watch out for number one... ... he bites."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... The bartender looks at him and says: ""I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"""