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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine? He forgot."
Next Joke
"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess I should have put the oven on aloha setting..."
"What's an owl's favourite pin code? 2820!!!!!!!!"
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
"[court] LAWYER: Did u kill him? ME: No L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury? ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder"
"Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere!"
"My wife used to make meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Then she joined Twitter... Now I'm lucky if she buys cereal."
"I went to the doctor for a checkup. A friend asked ""Which doctor?"" I replied ""No, a medical one."""
"What does a pedophile order when he goes to a cannibal restaurant? Eh, just something off the kids menu."
"""Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!"" ""Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."""