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Joke of the Day

"A guy is at Chick-Fil-A When all of a sudden Tinker Bell shows up. He goes to a worker and says, ""Wow, you guys have fairies in here?"" The worker then says, ""No, our CEO doesn't like it."""

"Tips on how to get girls Tip 1. Don't be ugly."

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant"

"Whats the definition of love true love and showing off? Spitting swallowing and gargling."

"German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999."

"My doctor said if I get 1000 upvotes he will perform free LASIK surgery!! Upvote for visibility."

"""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"" ""Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"" ""Not this time. Our dog died."""

"Whoever named it 'rain' is an idiot. I definitley wouldve called it 'sky water.'"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a hooker with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits..."

"I can't believe how parents leave their children in hot cars...... Some people aren't meant to have kids."