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Joke of the Day

"My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos"

"Did you hear about the butt fetishist who finally convinced his girlfriend to peg him? It made his hole weak."

"You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving."

"Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?"

"When an oppressed people demand a democracy I wonder if they realize we created obesity, the piano neck tie, and Keanu Reeves."

"A flasher was considering retiring. But he decided to stick it out a while longer."

"If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive... ...eventually, they would find me attractive."

"Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son ""in front of the world."" Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology."

"I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. ""You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"""

"What the difference between an IS training camp and a primary school? There aren't many paedos in the camp."