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Joke of the Day

"The How I Met Your Mother series will end tonight & everyone is thinking the same thing...if only it were The Big Bang Theory instead."

"HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes."

"Me: *crawls in window* Him: What are you doing?! Me: You're my boyfriend now? Him: I'm calling the cops Me: But you retweeted me??"

"ME: So. You from around here? HER: Yes. You're in my bedroom closet."

"Here's a joke ... College fees."

"Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo? It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree."

"Important stuff. If an orange is called an orange, then how come lemon is not called yellow?"

"Which country has the cheapest prostitutes? Vietnam. Because over there you need 20840 dongs to make a dollar."

"What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common? They are both very pedantic"

"Why does iron man have a vagina? Because he's a Fe male"