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Joke of the Day

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage? Feyonce"

"*cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* ""Damn, a cute bunny was murdered"" ""No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"""

"I'm making a fortune out of promoting home security systems. The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed."

"It's like my dad always said, ""How did you get this number?!"""

"Here's to tits! ...Cause No one ever said ""I want to cum on her nice personality"""

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"People who cough loudly don't go to the doctor... They go to the cinemas."

"After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the rest of the week anyways."

"Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful"

"You can buy a birthday cake if it's not your birthday, those dipshits don't even check your ID."