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Joke of the Day
"This hot fudge sundae hasn't killed me so it must be making me stronger."
Next Joke
"Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep."
"Me: I think the coolest sport is horse golf Guy: do you mean polo? Me: [realizing he isn't classy enough to know about horse golf] yes"
"I could solve the energy crisis if there was a way to harness the power of how precisely wrong the airport security line I always pick is."
"What do you feel when there's no more coffee? Depresso."
"After learning about hieroglyphics, it makes you realize that Egyptians invented the emoji."
"How To Avoid Dating You're too young for me. I'm too young for you. I don't date men my age. Okay, but after I finish my antibiotics."
"A new rehab center for pill addicts is open Its called Oxy Clean"
"Why does the swimming pool get laid every night? Because he makes all the ladies wet."
"What's ISIS's favorite Country Band? Allahbama"