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Joke of the Day
"Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep."
Next Joke
"I use profanity freely because it doesn't seem right to charge you (ya cunt!)"
"What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines"
"What do you call a veal-birthing cow? De-calf"
"Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting."
"Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit."
"The first time I made love to Kate I thought of my late wife, Susan. I thought, this'll teach her to be late"
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb. It doesn't matter since they will just be the room for being black."
"Dad: Why do you smell like weed? Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :("
"What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede? A walkie talkie!"