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Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks."

"reggae band i've just started playing triangle in a reggae band. i just stand there and ting."

"There's a ghost in the house! CALL DR.BOO!"

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."

"What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio? Now, both have an oscar."

"The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive... ...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write"

"You got me... If I asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?"

"""Cool, I'll check 'em out!"" -my lie to any person recommending a band to me"

"Why are Apple products popular with hipsters? Steve Jobs went underground."

"Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!"