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Joke of the Day

"Pizza burnt the inside of my mouth and I don't understand why the things I love most keep hurting me"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall Dam"

"Wow, I must look really hot tonight working out, everyone is totally staring at me. *walking on treadmill with a candy bar and a Pepsi"

"Thought I saw God in my rear-view mirror yesterday... Turns out it was just a dog."

"Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?"

"Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. ` ` Knock Knock, who's there? Not Sally."

"what do you call a vampire that sucks mucus instead of blood? nose-feratu!"

"Women should come with permanent mood rings."

"Birthdays are good for your health Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two."