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Joke of the Day
"Women should come with permanent mood rings."
Next Joke
"Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you"
"Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac? Because they always take things... Literally"
"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium."
"What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath? ...throw a load of dirty laundry in."
"Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels? Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!"
"In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library. -Conan Monologue June 12, 2014"
"I heard a joke today that made me shit myself. It was just a bit of self-defecating humor."
"Jesus, take the wheel! *steering wheel disappears* *car careens into tree*"
"I like to skip my digestive system and just place my Chipotle burrito directly into my toilet."