73498

Joke of the Day

"You know what Schwarzenegger is up to these days? He's an exterminator."

"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."

"If you feed Donald Trump after midnight or put him in water what will he turn into? A Kremlin."

"Cell phone. Recliner. Beer. Not at work. This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell."

"Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband."

"Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold!"

"Your mama is so ugly I will slap her face off of her face!"

"What do you call a singing goat that lives by the sea? Billy Ocean"

"Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party? He wanted to find a tight seal."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but first the lightbulb must decide to change itself."