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Joke of the Day

"I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon."

"96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in."

"Two mutes walk into a bar and one says to the other:"

"5 female pigs + 5 male deer What do you get when you have 5 female pigs and 5 male deer? 10 sows and bucks (say it out loud)"

"Shakespeare was a good sport... He ended all his sonnets with gg."

"Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane? I'm asking for an imaginary friend."

"""There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today."" -meteorologists"

"Waldo asked his wife what was for dinner... Fondue, waldo."

"What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B? The Marquis de [Sade](http://i.imgur.com/srWEGsC.jpg)"

"Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate"