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Joke of the Day

"ISIS commander to troops ISIS commander: Do you guys know what the leading cause of goat rape is? Troops: No, what? ISIS commander: Sexy Goats ;)"

"Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?"

"My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch."

"What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common? The car and the bus both have wheels."

"How many of you are household pets reading tweets while your owners nap?"

"Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth."

"A threesome with an older couple Girl: Babe come over Guy: Can't having a threesome with an older couple Girl: My parents are not home Guy: I know"

"My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying ""Hey, are you even listening?"""

"My friend offered me a brojob I guess he must have been bro curious"

"Paddy says, ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""Bugger that!"" says Mick. ""Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"""