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Joke of the Day

"Paddy says, ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""Bugger that!"" says Mick. ""Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"""

"Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence. "

"It's a sad day when you watch National Geographic and realize oysters have a better sex life than you."

"What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common? They both plat no more."

"What ""bus"" crossed the ocean? Columbus."

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"

"Why was the big hairy two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one."

"Did you know that Miley has a twin sister? Her name is Tyranna and she's a palaeontologist."

"There is this guy that hates taking a poop. But shit happens."

"Q: What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? A: surname"