72982

Joke of the Day

"I'm kind of like a fireman. I turn the hoes on."

"My ex-girlfriend weighed 85 pounds But that's about average considering she's 9"

"I was driving down a street with a magician He turned into a driveway"

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? Because she ran away from the ball!"

"Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said ""Wow!"" What a fucking pair of idiots."

"Why do women forget if you call them beautiful 100 times but remember if you call them ugly once? Elephants have good memory"

"If she says, ""I'm OK,"" you're fine. If she says, ""I'm Fine,"" You're not OK."

"What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table? Gold! (works better when told - most will interrupt with ""Arrrrrrrrrgon!"")"

"What does ""fingering a girl"" and ""using a chainsaw"" have in common? [NSFW] If you hold at the wrong position your finger goes down the shitter."

"Did you hear about the autistic guy that sat on his food at Fuddrucker's? Turns out he just had Aspergers."