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Joke of the Day

"Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said ""Wow!"" What a fucking pair of idiots."

"Don't let him know you're a hologram. Don't let him know you're a hologram. Interviewer: You've got the job! *extends hand* Me: Dammit"

"Can somebody explain to me the uproar over the CEO editing posts? I mean... what part of Chief Editing Officer don't these people understand?"

"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish."

"Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things? They have bad mammaries."

"A Freudian Slip A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother"

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift."

"Balls... What do you call it when your balls are in the street? It's Cul de sac!"

"I have a question for you guys. After the door bell rings, how long do I have to wait to turn the TV volume back up and make any movement?"

"[cats on a date in a fancy restaurant] Male: I can't decide if I want tuna or the salmon. Female: *Slowly pushes pepper shaker off table"