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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriend weighed 85 pounds But that's about average considering she's 9"

"Me with megaphone: ""COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR."" Man: ""I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?"" Me: ""I FORGOT!"""

"Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say ""Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"" You're welcome"

"Why couldn't the expert fisherman get any dates? Because he said he was a master baiter."

"People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number."

"""There are hot Shingles in your area"" - My Doctor"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Ground up and in the freezer"

"How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"

"I'm having trouble finishing my joke about tree surgery! Stick joke here!"

"When I was little, I didn't give a fuck about what to wear. My parents dressed me up. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it seems they didn't give a fuck either."