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Joke of the Day

"If you want to hear an elderly couple arguing for 2 hrs about whether they closed their garage door, go to a movie at 11AM on a weekday."

"I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. I told her I don't have the money to hire a hitman."

"What does weed and the Quran have in common? If you burn it you get stoned"

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"What do you call an epileptic in a deck chair? A transformer."

"I have no idea who invented ballet dancing but I'm willing to bet good money it was a guy trying to sneak back into bed after coming home pissed from a bar"

"Does anyone have a good joke about essays/paper writing I can use?"

"What does alcohol free beer taste like? Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right."

"What do you call a Frosty's prostitute? A snow blower"

"Why should everyone go to the dentist at least once every ten years? Because of tooth decade!"