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Joke of the Day

"What does alcohol free beer taste like? Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right."

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they spot a young boy on the other side. The priest says, ""Hey! Let's go fuck him!"" The rabbi thinks for a second and asks, ""Out of what?"""

"I am not racist I have black shampoo and white conditioner!!"

"Knock knock...(from my 6 year old) Who's there? ""Little girl"". Little girl, who? ""Little girl who can't reach the door knob""."

"There are two types of people in the world, those who sweat when eating spicy food and those whose nose drips when eating spicy food."

"They say nothing in life that's worth having comes easily. Guess I'm really lucky to have my wife."

"I've compiled my bucket list. 4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *(choking sounds)*"

"Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to ""Vintage Hams""] Hipster: I'll take 4"