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Joke of the Day

"I asked for her number she said sex sex sex I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629."

"women's rights"

"What's the difference between Martin Luther King and Donald Trump? Martin Luther King had a dream and Donald Trump is a nightmare."

"I'll believe corporations are people when conservatives ban them from marrying each other."

"How can you tell when someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I ask WebMD to diagnose the weird brown mole I just noticed. ""1. Is it delicious?"" ...Yes? ""2. Were you eating Easter candy in bed?"" ...Oh."

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, ""I want to screw him."" The Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"Your mother has terrible taste in children."

"Civilization is just one really long and annoying group project."

"Titties and explosions. Plot line optional. #HollywoodPostItNote"