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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to start an education program aimed at changing kids' reading habits to post-rapture Christian novels. It's called ""no, child, 'Left Behind!'"""

"why did the possum cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken."

"Ugly is in the eye of the beholder as well."

"How do you know if a girl is hungry or horny? Give her a cucumber and see what hole she puts it in. How do know if she's hungry & horny? When she sits on the cucumber and then eats the pickle."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway. (might of already been posted)"

"Whenever i get job applications, the first thing i do is throw half of them in the trash. I don't want to hire any unlucky people"

"So the bus driver said to the string ""Are you a string?"" and the string said ""No I'm afraid not"". (A frayed knot)."

"What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !"

"Starting a hammock company for kids called Kidnaps and maybe I need to rethink some things."

"Child on fire Would a crazy kid whose state-paid temporary parents set him on fire be a bananas Foster child?"