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Joke of the Day

"Starting a hammock company for kids called Kidnaps and maybe I need to rethink some things."

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."

"I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn."

"Yeah, I can't believe the shitty teenager making minimum wage at the coffee shop spelled your name wrong on your cup either."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Feminists don't change anything."

"I can't have teamwork at League of Legends because... the only people listening to my calls are the NSA."

"Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball."

"How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? There is white-out on the screen. How do you know that another blonde has been using the computer? Someone has written on the white-out."

"What is the cheapest date ever? Drive in reverse trough the mcdrive, so the checkout is on her side."

"How would it be living in an only men city? I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while."