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Joke of the Day

"I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, ""Who is that solo genius?"""

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"A photon stops at a hotel and is asked: ""May I take your luggage?"" He replies, ""No, thanks. I'm traveling light."""

"Hipsters only know their weight in Instagrams."

"Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first."

"My biggest fear of Hurricane Sandy is that i'll lose power and can't Facebook"

"Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door"

"Engineering joke At work today I told an engineer I liked the cool shapes in his design. ""Oh, it's not intentional,"" he responded. ""It's mostly in compression."""

"It'd be cool if a firetruck was like an ice cream truck and just drove around selling fire to kids."

"Why is ten afraid of nine? Because nine ate seven! *heh heh*"