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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed-wire fence? Utter destruction!"
Next Joke
"How do you make a door hold water? You open it slightly so it's ajar."
"You know what Nixon did wrong? He only broke into the watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it, jokes on you."
"*Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*"
"I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down. Life is hard."
"Welcome to Facebook. Please choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen."
"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"
"""SURPRISE!!!!"" - Every girl with drawn-on eyebrows."
"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."
"A mosquito landed on my wife's face... Easiest decision of my life."