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Joke of the Day

"a jew, a christian, and a muslim walk into a bar in the holyland hey it could happen, just not on a friday, saturday or sunday"

"I'll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap."

"Just got arrested for racing my Segway wearing an adult diaper and a Viking helmet. Still not clear which law I broke."

"I shake my bottled water so the H's & O's are evenly distributed."

"What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ? A hoppercraft !"

"Come to the light side [Original source (in Russian)](http://peggy-s.livejournal.com/318323.html) - Come to the light side, we have marshmallows - I want cookies - Cookies are on the dark side"

"What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Licker cabinet."

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."

"One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for"

"[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style."