72674

Joke of the Day

"Help! I was in Chipotle and a Vampire Weekend song came on and now I'm a Toms shoe!"

"Did you hear the one about the Rabbi who performed circumcisions? He never charged for his services, but he always kept the tips."

"Why was the scarecrow given an award? Cause he was out standing in his field"

"How does Moses make tea? He brews it."

"Walking inside a Nike store would be the worst place to contemplate suicide. Everything is saying Just Do It."

"Easter is almost here. So to celebrate, I'm going to get nailed and hammered like Jesus would want me to."

"One. How many time travelers does it take to ruin a joke?"

"I experimented A LOT in college. (I was a chemistry major.)"

"My grandfather's holocaust stories aren't half as depressing as the contestant interview segment on Jeopardy."

"A good place to hide a body would be the DVD section of a Best Buy."