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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the Rabbi who performed circumcisions? He never charged for his services, but he always kept the tips."

"A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, ""yes, you are."""

"My kids are yelling so incoherently at one another it sounds like they're naming IKEA furniture."

"How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black."

"What do men and Subway have in common? They both exaggerate the length."

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"I am a child molester just like my dad was a child molester. He rubbed off on me."

"What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership? My newt."

"What language does a Jewish homo speak? Heblew."