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Joke of the Day

"One. How many time travelers does it take to ruin a joke?"

"The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30."

"Come on, there has got to be at least one business like show business."

"ME: Don't you see, the treasure is our friendship PIRATE: ...Aye ME: P: I cherish ya me matey but honestly ya misled me a tad didn't ya"

"Q: Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank? A: Because she had an interest in the principal."

"Remembering idioms is easy It's not rocket fuel"

"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."

"I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."

"Why did the Hispanic become a mathematician? It takes Juan to know one."

"Your momma's so fat . . . She has to lift up the toilet seat to take a shit."