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Joke of the Day
"One. How many time travelers does it take to ruin a joke?"
Next Joke
"Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree"
"Him: Let's play ""show me your binky."" Me: Hey Father, this is a fucked up confession. Can't I just say a Hail Mary?"
"why don't chickens wear pants? Because their pecker is on their heads!"
"There are rumours big Canadian banks Scotia and TD may merge... giving Canada one giant STD"
"What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease"
"[first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous ""That's okay"" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*"
"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says ""uno, dos..."" *poof* ...He disappears without a tres!"
"*judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*"
"Well, well, well... If it isn't the lesson I should've learned by now."