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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather's holocaust stories aren't half as depressing as the contestant interview segment on Jeopardy."

"How is a fat woman like a scooter? She's fun to ride until your friends find out."

"""Love me do"" was written by John Lennon... After he got a really nice haircut"

"I like my women like I like my cigars. Cuban, shipped in bulk and 7 years old."

"A pyromaniac recently joined tinder... He got a lot of matches"

"Joke 2 - What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork? Princess Arielephant"

"I don't understand romantic movies, why waste all that time with the complicated, man-hating main character when her slut friend is cuter."

"People who comment alternate punchlines can just fuck off like do they not realize how not funny it sounds after reading the original joke (okay come at me)"

"*gets to front of unemployment line* yes I'd like to be unemployed"

"Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like ""always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."""