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Joke of the Day

"The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you."

"I'm never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat."

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !"

"Have you heard of the new Xman? Caitlyn Jenner"

"Man: What can I do you for? Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare"

"Why did Mr. Clinton want to become President? Because it pays the bills."

"If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do."

"What do you call a stick that's good at algebra..? AN ARITHMESTICK."

"Surely sometimes hookers just look around and say ""SHIT, I'm really a hooker right now""."

"I told my parents to put their Euros in my UK bank account, just in case. It didn't work."