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Joke of the Day

"Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire."

"What are some pros of living in Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus"

"Why would Batman always beat Superman? because, being rich, Bruce Wayne can ride a horse properly."

"My kids operate the house under the HYDRA principle For every light I turn off, three more get turned on to take their place."

"A seal walks into a bar A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, ""What's your pleasure?"" The seal replies, ""Anything but Canadian Club."""

"If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?"

"Why are radios cheaper in Scotland? Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried."

"A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"[job interview] ""You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."" ""Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."""

"What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar? Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one."