130289

Joke of the Day

"Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire."

"If your child builds a snow fort, by law, they have to move out and reside in it."

"I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test. It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do..."

"""Well well well."" - Me, answering three questions: 1.) How are you? 2.) What's your favorite adverb? 3.) Where'd you hide grandma?"

"What's the Only Planet That Gives a Crap? Uranus."

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts Boy Scouts come back from camp."

"I asked my mom something really stupid. I asked her to calm down."

"Chuck Norris once went through the Wendy's drive thru and ordered a Big Mac .......and got one."

"Nothing fcuks up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday!"

"I know why I study with the blinds closed. The reason awful, ghastly... I shutter to think"