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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber"

"Have you heard about the new female doctor who can cure illness with all natural, homeopathic remedies? Look her up! She just goes by the name, ""Miss Information"" Edit: source - South Park"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies in the trunk of your car."

"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."

"As a kid, I used to think $5,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song? White Christmas."

"What did the square say to the triangle? You're outta line!"

"Why isn't there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood."

"I wish you were ketchup.... ...So you could squirt on my Weiner!"

"How long does it take for a Jew to get 100 meters far? It depends on the wind strength."